Posted tagged ‘passion’

Positive change on a global scale – Unified we rise

February 17, 2013

I was very moved by this beautiful video, and the many affiliated videos, for One Billion Rising.

 

 

These folks have captured the essence of positive change as I think of it. They are focusing on the beauty, vitality and preciousness of women to inspire all of us to help bring full rights and protection to all women. And they do it through invigorating music, dance, and testimonials.

Even the videos that show heart-rending examples of abuse end with inspiring power and beauty!

Plus, as a male, I feel completely inspired to be part of this movement. This topic is close to my heart anyway, but the way it is approached is completely positive for all except those actively abusing others. Even some of them can hopefully be inspired to change their ways by the beauty and power of billions of people rising as one around the world.

Some of the other OBR videos that really captured my heart.

http://youtu.be/sVxy9oEShPQ (caution, heart-breaking beginning)

Highly Motivating Reframes – clients’ examples

November 14, 2012

Going Positive Reframes…

Reframing: This is a powerful motivational tool. Reframing our language helps us to influence the “inner movies” that we and others see in our minds. This can make a huge difference in how others perceive us and what we’re telling them. This is also true with family and friends. This truly can help “Make Friends and Influence People”.  Because of our caveman, our immediate gut reactions are often to focus on risks and only see problems. This can blurt out “caveman comments” that activate F Responses in others. Going Positive reframes create inner movies in people’s minds of the goals and the action needed to reach them. They also inspire the emotion needed to motivate people to action.

Wendy and Kevin, of the Litle & Co’s Leadership University class of 2012, give real-life examples of how they use reframes for great leadership.

 

Here are some other great examples of wonderful reframes from one of Litle’s stars. More will follow in later posts.

Personal Reframes

  1. Student with daughter Susan (age 9)

Susan and I watched the video on Bob’s blog “Influencing your Inner Movie – The Thinker & The Caveman” together.  Susan was eager to “get to the caveman” portion of the video.  As we were viewing the overview of the caveman…

Susan: “Caveman.  That’s like Ellen when she’s fighting with me!” (Ellen is her 7 year old sister)

Lisa (mommy): “Yes, that’s right!”

Susan: “Or like you when you yell at me.”

Lisa (mommy): “Yes…that’s why mommy is taking this class.  So I make better choices and reframe my words to be more positive.”

We talked about caveman behaviors and thinking behaviors, positive and negative comments and even about our Inner Movie.  Caveman and Thinking behaviors seem to resonate the most with Susan.  We agreed going forward when we got upset with each other or saw caveman behavior in each other we would use a shared “code word” as a reminder to reframe and choose our words more carefully.  Susan picked our code word: octopus flare. I agreed it was good choice and would definitely snap me out of my caveman moment!

We’ve reference the caveman and thinker throughout this week since our lesson – and our code word is definitely working.  It’s impossible NOT to smile (and laugh) when you’re saying/hearing octopus flare!

  1. Student with John (husband)

I shared the lesson of The Thinker & The Caveman with my husband John after my conversation with Susan.  John’s first observation was how Susan was quick to recognize/call out caveman behaviors in others, but not herself. J

Over the course of this week we’ve talked each night about different segments of the training.  Slightly different from my lesson with Susan, John and I have focused more on inner movie, reframing and 10:1 positive to negative comments.  And our greatest challenge: TONE.

We both realize an opportunity to reframe our communications with the girls to be more in line with the 10:1 positive to negative comments.  Most obvious has been our combined efforts to shift from telling them what NOT to do and reframing it into HOW to do something differently.

We also talked about the Chameleon Effect.  Specifically making judgments/assumptions about the girl’s abilities or presumed limitations (our inner movies perhaps?) and allowing that to guide our approach with them.  The story of the teacher with gifted/non-gifted children really hit home on the potential negative ramifications.

We’re not perfect – but we are definitely more aware!  As you’ll see in the reframe examples following…

 

Business Reframes

I.         Caveman Urge: I wanted to ask a team member what they were thinking (sarcastically and with annoyance!!!)  offering a client a free trial after we’d already offered the trial as a risk free trial (pay for service upfront with a money back guarantee).

Reframe:  I checked my temper and my inner movie and took the time to ask some qualifying questions about what conversations led up to the discussion and how the offer evolved.

Result:  Instead of letting my caveman loose and my temper run wild, I asked questions and took time to listen and understand how the situation evolved.  In doing so I learned the team member was inadvertently not included in several key discussions leading up to the client call, limiting their insight and resulting in lack of direction.  I took the opportunity to review the sequence of events, apologize for my oversight in the process and offer positive observations on where the team member took initiative and responsibility to move the opportunity forward.

 

II.         Caveman Urge: My seven year old daughter, Ellen, is having some trouble with separation anxiety in the morning before going to school.  I wanted to tell her not to be sad and to focus on happy things versus how much she misses mommy and daddy during the day.

Reframe: I remembered that referencing the feelings of sadness and missing us would bring up the feelings/thoughts that caused her to be upset in the first place.  So instead I said, “I feel like today is going to be a great day!” and steered the conversation toward activities happening that day that I knew she liked (e.g. gym, recess, etc.).

Results: The first day it took a lot of reframing/redirecting and we still had some tears.  Today she was less focused on sadness/missing and more focused on feeling like it would be a good day.

 

III.         Caveman Urge: I wanted to tell my nine year old daughter Susan that there would be no more TV in the morning before school unless she started listening to me (and moving faster) when I told her it was time to get dressed and ready for school. (In a loud, frustrated tone)

Reframe: I stopped to consider how my previous comments along those lines had failed to make any difference in our morning routine, and potential for conflict. I thanked Susan for making her bed that morning before being asked and asked her what else was needed done before we headed out to the bus stop.

Results: Susan brushed her teeth and her hair without further prompting and I kept my anxiety (and unnecessary caveman comments) to myself.  That night before bed we talked about ideas of things we could do to make getting ready in the morning smoother and less rushed and agreed to set our clothes out the night before.

Transforming Trauma by Going Positive – interview

October 23, 2012

I love helping people transform their lives. I love it so much, I often do it for free. I am on the board of directors of Vital Cycles, and do a lot of volunteering with trauma survivors.

The purpose of Vital Cycles is to empower those who seek joy in living while healing the impacts of emotional trauma.

I was just interviewed on a blogradio program talking at length about trauma, how Vital Cycles helps and other resources for those that deal with emotional trauma.

If you’re interested in hearing the recording click here.

 

Interview about being the CEO of your Life

September 20, 2012

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the Cosmic Coaching Centre in Toronto. For those interested, here’s the recording.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cosmiccoachingcentre/2012/09/19/positive-change-with-bob-faw-of-matchbox-group/

Make your life soar

Smile Power!

September 19, 2012

Who knew that Going Positive could have so many great results. Here is a wonderful speaker talking about great research showing so many advantages to smiling often!

Influencing Your Inner Movie – The Thinker & The Caveman

September 13, 2012

This is my favorite thing to teach. Being able to positively influence oneself is a critical skill for anyone increasing success, happiness, and even health.

There will be more videos teaching how to apply these concepts and tools in your life.

Stay tuned!

 

(note: Safari seems to have trouble playing this video. Please use a different web browser.)

Get your Caveman Passionate!

July 5, 2012

Get Your Caveman Passionate

I was honored to be interviewed for Peter Sterlacci‘s video blog last week. In his view, part of what I do is what he calls a “Personal Brand Mechanic”. I talk about the Caveman and the Thinker and how to get them both engaged both in living your personal brand, and in creating positive change in general.

See the video.


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