Archive for the ‘Real life stories’ category

Positive change on a global scale – Unified we rise

February 17, 2013

I was very moved by this beautiful video, and the many affiliated videos, for One Billion Rising.

 

 

These folks have captured the essence of positive change as I think of it. They are focusing on the beauty, vitality and preciousness of women to inspire all of us to help bring full rights and protection to all women. And they do it through invigorating music, dance, and testimonials.

Even the videos that show heart-rending examples of abuse end with inspiring power and beauty!

Plus, as a male, I feel completely inspired to be part of this movement. This topic is close to my heart anyway, but the way it is approached is completely positive for all except those actively abusing others. Even some of them can hopefully be inspired to change their ways by the beauty and power of billions of people rising as one around the world.

Some of the other OBR videos that really captured my heart.

http://youtu.be/sVxy9oEShPQ (caution, heart-breaking beginning)

Highly Motivating Reframes – clients’ examples

November 14, 2012

Going Positive Reframes…

Reframing: This is a powerful motivational tool. Reframing our language helps us to influence the “inner movies” that we and others see in our minds. This can make a huge difference in how others perceive us and what we’re telling them. This is also true with family and friends. This truly can help “Make Friends and Influence People”.  Because of our caveman, our immediate gut reactions are often to focus on risks and only see problems. This can blurt out “caveman comments” that activate F Responses in others. Going Positive reframes create inner movies in people’s minds of the goals and the action needed to reach them. They also inspire the emotion needed to motivate people to action.

Wendy and Kevin, of the Litle & Co’s Leadership University class of 2012, give real-life examples of how they use reframes for great leadership.

 

Here are some other great examples of wonderful reframes from one of Litle’s stars. More will follow in later posts.

Personal Reframes

  1. Student with daughter Susan (age 9)

Susan and I watched the video on Bob’s blog “Influencing your Inner Movie – The Thinker & The Caveman” together.  Susan was eager to “get to the caveman” portion of the video.  As we were viewing the overview of the caveman…

Susan: “Caveman.  That’s like Ellen when she’s fighting with me!” (Ellen is her 7 year old sister)

Lisa (mommy): “Yes, that’s right!”

Susan: “Or like you when you yell at me.”

Lisa (mommy): “Yes…that’s why mommy is taking this class.  So I make better choices and reframe my words to be more positive.”

We talked about caveman behaviors and thinking behaviors, positive and negative comments and even about our Inner Movie.  Caveman and Thinking behaviors seem to resonate the most with Susan.  We agreed going forward when we got upset with each other or saw caveman behavior in each other we would use a shared “code word” as a reminder to reframe and choose our words more carefully.  Susan picked our code word: octopus flare. I agreed it was good choice and would definitely snap me out of my caveman moment!

We’ve reference the caveman and thinker throughout this week since our lesson – and our code word is definitely working.  It’s impossible NOT to smile (and laugh) when you’re saying/hearing octopus flare!

  1. Student with John (husband)

I shared the lesson of The Thinker & The Caveman with my husband John after my conversation with Susan.  John’s first observation was how Susan was quick to recognize/call out caveman behaviors in others, but not herself. J

Over the course of this week we’ve talked each night about different segments of the training.  Slightly different from my lesson with Susan, John and I have focused more on inner movie, reframing and 10:1 positive to negative comments.  And our greatest challenge: TONE.

We both realize an opportunity to reframe our communications with the girls to be more in line with the 10:1 positive to negative comments.  Most obvious has been our combined efforts to shift from telling them what NOT to do and reframing it into HOW to do something differently.

We also talked about the Chameleon Effect.  Specifically making judgments/assumptions about the girl’s abilities or presumed limitations (our inner movies perhaps?) and allowing that to guide our approach with them.  The story of the teacher with gifted/non-gifted children really hit home on the potential negative ramifications.

We’re not perfect – but we are definitely more aware!  As you’ll see in the reframe examples following…

 

Business Reframes

I.         Caveman Urge: I wanted to ask a team member what they were thinking (sarcastically and with annoyance!!!)  offering a client a free trial after we’d already offered the trial as a risk free trial (pay for service upfront with a money back guarantee).

Reframe:  I checked my temper and my inner movie and took the time to ask some qualifying questions about what conversations led up to the discussion and how the offer evolved.

Result:  Instead of letting my caveman loose and my temper run wild, I asked questions and took time to listen and understand how the situation evolved.  In doing so I learned the team member was inadvertently not included in several key discussions leading up to the client call, limiting their insight and resulting in lack of direction.  I took the opportunity to review the sequence of events, apologize for my oversight in the process and offer positive observations on where the team member took initiative and responsibility to move the opportunity forward.

 

II.         Caveman Urge: My seven year old daughter, Ellen, is having some trouble with separation anxiety in the morning before going to school.  I wanted to tell her not to be sad and to focus on happy things versus how much she misses mommy and daddy during the day.

Reframe: I remembered that referencing the feelings of sadness and missing us would bring up the feelings/thoughts that caused her to be upset in the first place.  So instead I said, “I feel like today is going to be a great day!” and steered the conversation toward activities happening that day that I knew she liked (e.g. gym, recess, etc.).

Results: The first day it took a lot of reframing/redirecting and we still had some tears.  Today she was less focused on sadness/missing and more focused on feeling like it would be a good day.

 

III.         Caveman Urge: I wanted to tell my nine year old daughter Susan that there would be no more TV in the morning before school unless she started listening to me (and moving faster) when I told her it was time to get dressed and ready for school. (In a loud, frustrated tone)

Reframe: I stopped to consider how my previous comments along those lines had failed to make any difference in our morning routine, and potential for conflict. I thanked Susan for making her bed that morning before being asked and asked her what else was needed done before we headed out to the bus stop.

Results: Susan brushed her teeth and her hair without further prompting and I kept my anxiety (and unnecessary caveman comments) to myself.  That night before bed we talked about ideas of things we could do to make getting ready in the morning smoother and less rushed and agreed to set our clothes out the night before.

Transforming Trauma by Going Positive – interview

October 23, 2012

I love helping people transform their lives. I love it so much, I often do it for free. I am on the board of directors of Vital Cycles, and do a lot of volunteering with trauma survivors.

The purpose of Vital Cycles is to empower those who seek joy in living while healing the impacts of emotional trauma.

I was just interviewed on a blogradio program talking at length about trauma, how Vital Cycles helps and other resources for those that deal with emotional trauma.

If you’re interested in hearing the recording click here.

 

Interview about being the CEO of your Life

September 20, 2012

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the Cosmic Coaching Centre in Toronto. For those interested, here’s the recording.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cosmiccoachingcentre/2012/09/19/positive-change-with-bob-faw-of-matchbox-group/

Make your life soar

Mr. Happy Man – an inspiration to us all

April 23, 2012


Bermuda’s Johnny Barnes shares his love of life and humanity with thousands every day.

Talk about positive influence!! Prepare to be inspired by this amazing man.

Meet Johnny Barnes in this video

Do Free Work – For a career you’ll love!

January 22, 2012

Charlie has clearly articulated a powerful approach to creating a career you can love. It’s an approach that we have used successfully as well.

Our Story:

In mid-2009, when work slowed down dramatically, I did the same thing. We had all this free time on our hand so we decided to go out and do what we loved for free until people could pay us. We realized that the best thing for creating paying work, is when people have experienced good work of ours.

The ways that have worked for us:

  • We identified our “ideal client” and our “ideal gig”.
  • We began to speak about these favorite topics to groups of people that contained our ideal clients (CEO’s, human resource professionals, and other leaders).
  • Even more radically, we became very flexible with our price structures if an ideal client fit the following criteria:

Their mission is one we are passionate about

We like them as people and working with them was enjoyable

We have the time to do it

  • The easiest thing is to do whatever it takes to make our consulting programs work for the client. That often means going way above and beyond what we’d expected to see happen. Adding value in many unexpected ways as we go along. The wonderful thing is that this is a far more delightful way to work as well. Plus, the testimonials clients did for us went from very good to outstanding.
  • We produce free videos for our ideal clients. I’m a bit of a video production geek anyway, so it was an easy next step. We started asking if we can video-record portions of our programs. We created videos they could use to communicate changes to their far-flung employees and other stakeholders.
  • We even create videos and lead events far after we are officially done with a gig.

The benefits

  • No surprise, their gratitude helps us network and build a reputation much faster.
  • We’re doing more and more of the work we love to do.
  • We’re partnering more and more with clients we like and respect and who like and respect us.
  • I’ve always enjoyed my career, but now I love it more than ever.
  • We keep honing our skills at what we most want to master.
  • We feel engaged and alive, even when the money isn’t so strong. It keeps morale up.

My challenge for you

What can you do to create even more passion in your career?

Join us at the Breakfast With The Best and Culture Con, 1/31!

December 16, 2011

Michael and will be leading workshops on how to have a ‘best company to work at’ in the morning with the Breakfast with the Best and in the afternoon at the Culture Con.

Steps to a Culture of Passion

At Breakfast With The Best we’ll be hearing from the 10 best companies to work for in NH. Plus the gathering of 300-400 will be sharing their top practices as well! Come for great ideas and fun connections.

Sponsored by Business NH Magazine

Following that we’ll move a few blocks for the Culture Con. There we’ll go deeper into how to apply the best ideas to your own organization.

As a preview I’m guest blogging on Dyn’s blog about “8 Ideas For Enhancing Change Via Positive Change“. Dyn is hosting the Culture Con.

I hope to learn and have fun with you there!!

Bob


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