Knowing your purpose and values protects against manipulation


Be clear about your purpose.
  • Purpose in life.
  • Purpose in your job.
  • Purpose in your family.
Why do you do it? How do you know you’re successful? How do you feel when you’re successful?
What are your core values?
What 3-5 qualities are so important to you that you will adhere to them even if it loses you money (in the short term)?  E.g., integrity, achievement, caring, teamwork, protecting others (or the environment), seeking joy, etc.
When you are CLEAR about your purpose and your core values you can stay on track when others try to manipulate you.
Seth Godin has a great blog posting “Who is easily manipulated?” that helps you know what not to do.
What is your purpose  — in one word or one sentence? Share with us, or at least remind yourself regularly.
Explore posts in the same categories: Culture Improvement, Influence, Motivation, Solution-focus

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6 Comments on “Knowing your purpose and values protects against manipulation”

  1. Eric Says:

    Someone commented, recently, that I was “forthright”. It is an interesting word, and as I sought to understand what he meant, I thought about candor, directness, lack of contrivance – in how I communicate with others and, critically, with myself. As I thought about that more, I realised that being forthright means living in the moment and for the moment, with what seems, at time, a shocking disregard for consequence. Yet there is something freeing about being forthright, about being blunt and direct, not only in words, but in action.

    So, after some introspection, I’ve added “forthrightness” as a personal value.

    • Michael Says:

      I like your attitude about the value of being forthright as you see it, and I also wonder if the person calling you that defined the term exactly the same way you do.

      Perhaps it would be helpful in such a situation to say something like “Can you say a bit about what you mean when you say forthright? I want to be sure I understand you.” You might then learn more about how someone else sees you.

  2. bobfaw Says:

    “forthright” What a great one.

    I imagine you feel better about being you when you feel “forthright” – it wouldn’t feel right when you’re not. The emotional cost for you is higher to worry about consequence. That’s part of how you know it’s a core value.

    Great definition, by the way. Thanks for contributing!

  3. dmkasprzak Says:

    Hi, Bob. I could suggest any number of things I’d like to be known for. “Smart” “Practical” “Insightful” “Altruistic” and many others all come to mind. As far as values, I’d like to think people would say I have “Honesty” “Integrity” “Commitment” and many others as well. There’s one label, however, that I prize above all others, and would sacrifice anything to keep:

    “Dad”

    • bobfaw Says:

      “Dad” is a wonderful core value, David. You’re child(ren) are lucky to have a father who is so passionate about it. I look forward to more cyber connecting.

  4. Bob Faw Says:

    Clarity of purpose also helps you focus on what is most important to do.
    There are thousands of distractions that can pull you away from your purpose – youtube, TV, arguments, tasks that don’t help you, etc.

    Clarity of core values helps you focus on how you want to behave while you do what is important.
    If honesty is a core value then you will choose very different ways of accomplishing your goals than if you had “win at all costs” as a value.

    In my life my core purpose is to “learn, grow and have fun” and to help others do the same.
    My core values are
    * focus on win-win solutions
    * authenticity – be the best of who I am as much as I can
    * balance dignity with zaniness

    Who else will share theirs?


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